Ever thought about sleeping with someone who isnt your partner?
Am I willing to lose my partner over this?
Because you might, and you gotta be prepared for that.
Even after you pop the initial question, youre not entirely free from the possibility of getting dumped.
(Roy is nothisreal name, either, by the way.
(Theres also a risk it could cost you more than friendslike your job.)
Communication and trust are key … You dont need to rush.
After all, youre doing this because you value your existing relationship and dont want to end it.
As Lyons pointed out, if you didnt care about your partnership, youd just cheat.
Getting permission to do anythingnot just sexis so important, he says.
when you’ve got clearance to broach the topic, lead by prioritizing their needs and wants.
Create a hypothetical scenario and leave room for play so they can express themselves.
If they say no, at least you know how to tailor your half of the conversation going forward.
Royexplained that he and his now-husband were each others first same-sex partners after theyd both previously dated women.
The progression continued naturally and they eventually started talking about playing separately with other men.
In the midst of all that, they got engaged and married.
So take heart: This can work, but only if you are both on the same page.
An open relationship isnt just, We can have sex with everyone and were sluts, said Lyons.
Roy and his husband have a rule against developing feelings for the other parties.
Frankly discuss your expectations for condom use and off-limits behavior with your partner.
As the years wore on, that became less of a requirement and more of a suggestion.
Otherwise, we dont really talk about it very much.
We trust each other and we dont really want to know the details.
You already know what were getting at here: Communication is key.
But, he added, communication also means expressing and accepting that fair isnt always equal.
And that can lead toyou guessed itresentment… and a breakup.
You dont want to lie.
You dont want to cheat.
You dont want to lie.
You dont want to cheat.
Dont be dishonest, even when the conversations are awkward, because youre coming from a good place here.
And dont break any of your rules.
If you do, fess up.
