Do you remember the Bridesmaids scene where Kristin Wiigs Annie is getting felt up by Jon Hamms Ted?
Its clear that Annie is hating every second.
And yet, she says nothing.
For a lot of people, this topic evokes issues of self-worth.
Lets be clear: You deserve to have pleasure in the bedroom.
If theres something you want, or something youre curious about, you deserve to experience it.
There is no such thing as being universally great in bed.
Instead, each couple has to figure out how their boundaries, desires, and pleasures fit together.
The issue is not How do I tell my partner that theyre bad in bed?
The longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes to bring up.
Thats a surefire way to hurt your partners feelings.
Instead, you want to suggest alternatives.
Come up with some alternate ideas that you could try with your partner.
These can be things you already know you want, or they can be brand new ideas.
You may already know that you want your partner to use a more delicate touch.
If youre struggling to come up with ideas, try reading articles aboutsexualtechniquefor inspiration.
Or try exploring your own body or masturbating, to get a better sense of what you like.
You dont need to give your partner a complete roadmap to your sexual pleasure.
Its a lot harder to not get defensive or hurt when you hear feedback in the moment.
Separating feedback from actual sexual activity will make the conversation feel easier and inspire your partner to take action.
What do you think?
So if possible, give a shot to frame your requests in that way.
What if we tried giving each other massages as foreplay?
