Will it make him cry?
I sure we looked fine, but it was tenuous.
Freaked-out crying jags were kind of my thing right then.
Nothing knocks you for an emotional loop like having a baby.
For me, the feeling of constant, guarded apprehension passed within a couple of weeks.
turns into intrusive, terrifying thoughts about, say, your baby freezing to death.
If you are thinking about harming yourself or your child, go the ER immediately.
Theres a really fine line here.
In the definition, perinatal anxiety should resolve within two weeks, but thats obviously not always the case.
Nonetheless, there are symptoms that Raines looks out for that would indicate a mother needs help.
What we find with perinatal anxiety isintrusive thoughts, says Raines.
The mother worries, What if I fall down the stairs and drop the baby?
But its the visualizing of that thats abnormal.
But it can get to a point where they cant think of anything else, says Raines.
They cant stop visualizing the baby drowning.
They cant function anymorethey cant drive the car because what if the baby cries?
What if they have a wreck?
This is a major sign that a new mother should seek help.
Everywhere you took a step, you had to Purell your hands.
That you wont have a wreck while driving the baby around?
Another common anxiety is a preoccupation with something bad happening, says Raines.
A preoccupation with your husband dying, or that someone will come in the window and take the baby.
It can be a dark circle of spiraling downward.
Major Red Flags
I asked Raines for her number-one red flag.
The thing that frightens me is whena patient says she hasnt slept in three days.
The majority of psychotic patients I see, that was the precipitating factorthey stopped sleeping.
Or if shes not bonding with the baby, not wanting to care for the baby at all.
This isnt adangerred flag, but she needs help.
Finally, Raines says she worries when theresany behavior thats very out of character, or bizarre conversations.
This baby is just Satan inside of me.
Raines suggests asking her to talk to her health care provider, or looking for help atPostpartum Support International.
We start with educationthis is a time-limited problem.
Cognitive behavioral therapy can help reformulate [obsessive or intrusive] thoughts.
(DONA Internationalis a good place to start to find a doula.)
It will get better.
