Processing the death of a loved one is never easy.
So where do you even start?
Heres a step-by-step guide to writing and delivering a eulogy.
What are people looking for from a eulogy?
Having said that, theres no right or wrong way to write a eulogy.
The most important aspect about writing one is that it should be written from the heart, she explains.
It should sound like the writer actually knew and appreciated the person.
Keep this in mind as you start to prepare your remarks.
If youre not entirely sure what to include, try the H.A.M.
Attributes: What was the person like?
Memories: Are there any special moments that provide insight and evoke emotion?
This was the case before my mother passed away after having cancer.
I want you to go up and say funny things about me to make people laugh.
The overriding theme will tie your eulogy together.
Now that you have some ideas and a theme, get your thoughts organized into some sort of outline.
For example, Raab recommends opening by introducing yourself and how you knew the deceased.
Along the same lines, she suggests offering regret to the closest loved ones in attendance.
The more specific, the better, Raab says.
This is not a time for revenge.
Raab also recommends ending the eulogy with words of wisdom from the deceased.
Eulogy logistics
after you snag a full draft of the eulogy, go through and edit it.
Raab suggests reading it to yourself in front of the mirror.
The more you go over the eulogy before the service, the better prepared youll be in the moment.
Of course, theres no rule saying that the person who writes the eulogy also needs to deliver it.
In fact, Funeral Wise suggestshaving a backupeven if you fully intend on delivering the eulogy yourself.
Its perfectly acceptable to ask someone else to read the eulogy on your behalf.
Once youre actually up in front of the group giving the eulogy, remember to speak slowly and clearly.
Give people time to react to any funny parts or regroup after an especially emotional moment.
Try and relax as much as humanly possible while delivering a eulogy.
If you have the chance to scope out the podium or microphone ahead of time, do so.
But if you do lose your composure, thats perfectly fine, too.
And as nervous as you may be, know that the audience is on your side.
If thats what you end up giving, great.
