I'm Author Nefertiti Austin, and This Is How I Parent

Nefertiti Austinis the single mother of two children she adopted from the foster care system.

What is it that you most want readers to know about that experience?

Id like readers to know that in the 21stcentury, motherhood is still centered in whiteness.

Often other versions of motherhood are marginalized, ridiculed or ignored.

Even as an academic, I had struggles finding parenting role models who were not white.

What initially pulled you toward adoption?

I think adoption was always in the back of my mind.

I was raised by grandparents who made me feel loved and safe.

Also, my BFF, Lori, is adopted.

I saw how well she turned out and watched her pursue a career as an adoption social worker.

Lori shared countless stories about children in need of homes, love and stability.

Those stories tugged on my heart strings and made me think I could help someone.

I was disappointed by this erasure and my early writings were rants!

Later, those articles became essays on race and gender in adoption.

I thought I had curated a collection of essays but my agent suggested a memoir.

I was like,really?

Trayvon Martins death shook me into reality.

White mothers dont carry this burden, unless their children are of color.

Ultimately, I wroteMotherhood So Whiteout of necessity.

Who or what can you not live without?

As the kids have gotten older, I have slowly amassed reliable help.

But my entire ship would capsize without the friendship and support of my village of mom friends.

They help with carpool, homework, summer camp, and snacks.

They are the absolute best!

My kids and I sit at the dining room table and eat dinner together every night.

Dinner might only last fifteen minutes but I treasure that time with them.

Being a single mother is hard and I dont wish it on anyone.

We get all of the blame or all of the glory.

Put your oxygen mask on first.

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