Gastor Almonte is an East New York comedian.
This shit is disturbing.)
you’re able to find the album oniTunes,Spotifyor watch the video version onAmazon Prime Video.
Heres how he parents.
Tell us a little bit about your family and your career.
Did life happen mostly as planned or were there surprises?
Im a standup comedian, father of two and husband.
The husband part was the only thing that was planned.
My wife is my best friends older sister who Ive known since I was 13.
We always wanted kids but didnt agree on how many until we started having them.
When we had none, we wanted four.
When we had one, we wanted three.
When we got to two, we finally had our dreams aligned with our reality.
In terms of my career, it was a completely random thing.
I had just gotten promoted to sales manager at my job.
Seemed like a fun way to work on a job skill so I signed up for classes.
Its been my thing ever since.
Immigrant Made, your debut comedy album, is about familys journey from the Dominican Republic.
How are you teaching your kids about their roots?
My kids thankfully have access to both my parents and my in-laws.
They get to see firsthand the things they do differently, from their foods to their values and traditions.
They get to hear stories from my parents, about the beauty of their homelands.
This is usually followed by a sales pitch to go on a trip to the Dominican Republic without me.
The kids havent said yes yet, but I know they will soon.
Take us through your morning routine.
What are your best tricks for getting out the door?
The key to the morning is routine.
Alarm goes off the same time everyday at 7 a.m.
The kids get dressed while I make breakfast for them.
They come out to eat while I prep my wifes coffee.
Kids have uniforms, breakfast is a fixed menu.
If I made it, thats the meal.
If you forgot to do your laundry, youre the one out of a uniform in class.
How much outside help do you get as a parent?
Who or what cant you live without?
My biggest assist are the grandparents.
Both sets of grandparents live within walking distance, which is clutch.
Its without question one of the biggest wins of being in Brooklyn.
Plus, major props to my kid sister.
Shes 17 and a high school senior.
Its all about no variables.
Kids have uniforms, breakfast is a fixed menu.
If I made it, thats the meal.
If you forgot to do your laundry, youre the one out of a uniform in class.
What are the gadgets, apps, charts or tools you rely on?
We really only swear by one thing: Google Calendar.
Whats your favorite parenting hack?
Make anything you hate doing into a game, and then the kids will do it for you forever.
For example: Loading the dishwasher or doing laundry.
I time them and compare them and let the winner have first dibs on that nights dinner.
Do your kids inspire your work?
I just double-check that I dont embarrass them.
I also play anything thats clean for them afterwards, which they enjoy a lot.
What do they think about your career?
My grandfathers owned farms.
My dad owns property that hes designed and built.
I didnt have something tangible that I can show [my kids] as dads work.
But then last year, right before recording my album, we went to Disney in Florida.
During our trip, we did the safari and our truck broke down.
We were stuck for a half hour.
We had rhinos right by our truck.
Cheetahs were to our left.
It was legitimately scary!
But we made it out.
The next day, we had to drive up to Miami for my brother-in-laws wedding.
My cousin was laughing, the kids were laughingit was great.
As soon as I hung up, they started asking me questions.
Dad, how did you do that?
You took a scary moment and made it funny?
Was it funny while it was happening?
It was the first time they saw my craft and its value.
They would ask me for tips and to listen to them tell itit was awesome!
By the end of the night, they had a tighter version than I did.
How do you decompress?
Date night with my wife once a month, and cigar night with my cousins every 3 months.
Basically, I need to see the people that knew me before life got serious.
Is there something that your parents did that youd like to pass onto your child?
My parents came from simple farming folks to owning eight properties in Brooklyn.
I could be a complete failure as a comic and Im still going to inherit a building or two.
Id love to offer that to them, and the work ethic that it takes to get it.
Whats been your proudest moment as a parent?
I recently let my kids walk to school for the first time.
I followed them in my car.
Watching them do something on their own without me, but also together with each other, was everything.
What moment are you least proud of?
I knocked over a kid in my daughters class who I knew was bullying her.
Eh, actually, Im proud of this too.
What do you want your kid to learn from your example?
If it makes you happy, its worth pursuing.
Unless its candy corn.
No one should eat candy corn.
What are your favorite family ritual?
My son used to jump into his bed every night.
It made a huge noise and as he got older, I was worried hed break the bed.
He laughed then he did a stealthy-ninja move to lie down when I flicked the lights off that night.
I made a bomb sound with my mouth.
Now we do they every night.
Has anyone ever given you a piece of parenting advice that has really stuck with you?
Always have PB&J in stock.
Whats the hardest part about being a parent?
Buying sneakers every three months.
Something is always going to get more attention.
Whatever has your focus at the time, give it your all.
Just see to it everything gets a turn being the focus.
