Dylan Thuras is the co-founder and creative director ofAtlas Obscura, a guide to the worlds hidden wonders.
A dad of two, he talks to us about how he parents.
Shes a freelance animator.
We have a 3 and-a-half year-old son Phineas who we call Finn and a 17-month-old daughter named Jean.
Life is long and the time when your kids are young is short.
Tell us a little bit about your family and your career.
Ten years ago, Atlas was a passion project.
I was doing it on nights and weekends while I was a freelance editor.
And then it evolved over time into something much larger.
In 2013, I was overseeing every different aspect of the company and burning the candle at both ends.
And we were about to have Finn, our son.
It was just time to do something different.
And then when we had our second kid Jean, we made another change to leave the city.
Now were about two hours upstate in town called Rosendale.
We made the decision to put family life ahead of work life for now.
It comes at some costthere are some things that feel like missed opportunities, or whatever.
But life is long and the time when your kids are young is short.
When are you going to grow up and not be so difficult?
But then you sort of realize, actually, this is like five years.
So my wife isnt currently working and I go into the office a day or two days a week.
I am incredibly lucky to have the flexibility to spend as much time with the kids as I do.
Whats it like working from home with the kids?
My home-life split has always been really messy.
If youre working from the house, things just come up.
And so that can be difficult.
Take us through your morning routine.
In our family, the coin of the realm is mornings.
Anything could be traded for a morning.
My daughter has this terrible habit of waking up at, like, 5:30.
So normally, we are taking turns getting up with her.
Usually its pretty simple like granola or oatmeal.
Finn goes to a Waldorf school and we pack his lunch the night before.
The person who is sleeping in gets to sleep until about 8:30.
And then he goes to school at 9.
Around then, Jean is either is put down for a nap or someone is hanging out with her.
How much outside help do you get as a parent?
Unfortunately, our families are both far away.
Mine is in Minnesota.
My wifes mother recently passed away, so that was hard this summer.
We get an occasional babysitter, but we dont have any regular help.
To some degree, its intentional.
What are the gadgets, apps, charts or tools you rely on?
When our first was little, we used theWonder Weeksapp.
We were, like, totally glued to it, trying to see what was going on with him.
Then when our daughter came, it was like, yeah, whenever, shes fine.
Its very cliched but its entirely true that you become a different kind of parent the second time around.
There are some amazing shows on Netflix right now.Puffin Rockis great.
Were also trying a new show calledHildathat looks really good.
I am much more concerned about my screen time than the kids at this point.
Distracted parenting is a thing.
A travel system stroller is amazingthe ones where the seats can snap out and become car seats.
It just saves you from having to carry one extra giant thing.
We also haveone of those foldable booster seats that can strap onto any chair.
What are your proudest moments as a parent?
Seeing him sink into that creative free space makes us think, Okay, weve made good decisions.
Is there anything you do to help get him into that creative free space?
Some of it is the environment were in.
It was a lot harder when we were in the city.
Its doable, but its just more complicated.
Other than that, its just giving him a lot of unsupervised time.
Trusting, to certain degree, his ability to not get himself killed.
Were there, but we give him a long leash.
Kids are really capable.
And the more you give them that space, the more capable and responsible they become.
What are your favorite family rituals?
This is so small and simple, but we light candles for meals.
Sometimes, we let Finn light them and he blows them out at the end.
Its a very small thing but it has a little magic to it.
And then lately, Ive been taking my son backyard camping.
He helps me set up the tent and we make a little fire.
I know Im making our lives sound more idyllic and together than they are.
Its not like were living this like peaceful, zen-like monk life in the country.
Any tricks for handling tantrums?
I think sometimes, you’re free to just let them happen.
you’re free to even leave them to be upset and come back later.
Give them space and acknowledge, Youre upset and thats okay.
Whats the hardest part about being a parent?
Being really, really present.
But thats what I want to do as much as possible.
And I fail at it plenty.
