You dont have to let these things slide.
Adamick, who is raising a 13-year-old daughter, shared with us how he parents.
Why did you decide to write a book on raising empowered daughters?
It didnt make much sense.
Tell us a little bit about your family and your career.
Did life happen mostly as planned or were there surprises?
My wife is a lawyer, and Im a newspaper reporter turned at-home dad and writer.
And Id always been sort of a kid person, so we decided to give it a try.
Im really fortunate and grateful to be able to fill this role.
Take us through your morning routine.
What are your best tricks for getting out the door?
But then the caffeine kicks in and the morning begins.
How much outside help do you get as a parent?
We have a housecleaner who has been coming weekly and Im particularly grateful to be able to afford that.
Just having the floors done and the laundry and the dishes is worth the expense for sure.
As for parenting help, when Emme was little, I couldnt live without her playgroups.
Id recommend regular playgroups for everybody.
Whats your favorite parenting hack?
Then I switched to a baby swaddle carrier thing.
It looked like a flat turtle with extended arms and legs that youd wrap around your waist and shoulders.
I loved that thing.
I sewed a pocket into it for milk and snacks and a spare diaper.
As she got older, her needs changed.
I no longer carried formula.
She no longer needed to be carried.
She no longer needed a change of clothes.
Now I have some Band-Aids and some thin maxi pads just in case.
So thats my hack.
Carry some Band-Aids and some ultra thin maxi pads in your wallet because you never know.
How do you decompress?
I speak to myself much more kindly than I used to, and aint that a relief.
And Im not so hung up on mistakes.
What do you want your kid to learn from your example?
Were a family of wild overachievers and strivers and doers, I think.
Good grades, good at sports, good friends.
Is there something that your parents did that youd like to pass onto your child?
Yeah, were four towns over.
See you at dinner.
Its critically, critically important that our daughter see us just absolutely fuck up from time to time.
Whats been your proudest moment as a parent?
It really wasnt a special night for any reason; just a random weekday.
Theres no real end game in parenting.
Parenting is done and Ive succeeded!
What moment are you least proud of?
Ugh, how long you got?
The feeling of shame is really quite profound, and I dont really have any doubts itll happen again.
Living with humans is hard.
Im also least proud of basically anything that happens when Im hangry.
So I bring my own snacks and water basically everywhere.
What are your favorite funny/weird/special family rituals?
But theres this one thing where she makes me move her bedroom fanjust sobefore I turn out the lights.
Also, we used to be a super anti-TV, anti-screen time, anti-technology family of DIY-crafting hippies.
But binge-watchingThe Good Placetogether as a family is probably the best forking parenting decision weve made in years.
Has anyone ever given you a piece of parenting advice that has really stuck with you?
Dads rarely get asked questions like this, from my experience.
How does he do it all?
Oh my God, workandbake cupcakes for the PTA sale?
I have so much respect for single parents who really do have to do it all.
Dads are doing more around the house and with kidsmuch more.
But were not quite equal when it comes to the second shift.
Whats your favorite piece of practical advice for raising a confident girl?
Youre in charge of your circles.
Sociologist Allen Johnson, who wroteThe Gender Knot, describes us all as actors in the patriarchy.
That system exists and we play a part in it whether we like it or not.
The thing is, we cant decidewhetherto play a part, but we can decidehowour parts are played.
We can prop it up or tear it down a little from the inside.
Thats really the advice I want to offer dads: Play a better role.
Dont let sexism slide in your circles.
Dont just laugh off stupid sexist jokes because youre afraid to make waves in your man circles.
Call out abuse or harassment and help stop it.
Were all in this together, and we have a lot more power than we imagine we do.
