It became their special thing, their way to connect.
Sometimes Id pop in a cookie or a piece of candy to make her lunch special.
I wasnt sure what mattered to her, the note or the treat.
I hadnt yet written a note.
Thats when I knew it mattered to her, and I committed to putting a note into each lunch.
I have been diagnosed with cancer five times.
The first diagnosis came out of the blue and turned our world upside down.
I am by no means perfect, and there were days life just didnt work in my favor.
I have driven a note to school more than a few times.
Take us through your morning routine.
What are your best tricks for getting out the door?
I have been taking daily chemo now for well over four years.
My chemo brain is strong and I easily forget things.
The key to any successful morning is planning, and that starts the night before.
I review my schedule as well as the family schedule.
I follow the same routine each day so that I am less likely to forget something.
Once everyone is set, I take a few minutes and write at least 800 words before starting work.
How much outside help do you get as a parent?
Who or what cant you live without?
What are the gadgets, apps, charts or tools you rely on?
I am a self-professed geek and love gadgets.
I cant remember everything I need to, so my Google Pixel is never out of my sight.
I love the pictures this phone takes!
I useWunderlistfor to-dos (chemo brain!)
I keep all of my medical records on Evernote so they are easily accessible for me at any time.
I track health issues withPatientsLikeMeto help others with kidney cancer.
Has becoming a parent changed the way you work?
I work so that I can be the dad who never misses a softball game.
What does your evening routine like?
Fatigue is the biggest side effect from my treatment and I really need to wind down after 7 PM.
I am in the middle ofMindsetby Carol Dweck.
Next up isCryptonomiconby Neal Stephenson.
How do you decompress?
I love to play video games.
Whats been your proudest moment as a parent?
A single moment???
I am tearing up even remembering all of the moments that I can easily list off.
I work so that I can be the dad who never misses a softball game.
What moment are you least proud of?
Emma was about 18 months old and was jumping on her bed.
I told her to stop jumping there.
Why did I do that?
Did it really matter that she was jumping on her bed?
I lost my cool and told her if she jumped on the bed, Id spank her.
She stopped, looked me straight in the eye, and jumped some more.
What could I do?
What do you want your kid to learn from your example?
I want Emma to know the value of trying and failing, then trying better and failing better.
What are your favorite funny/weird/special family rituals?
We have this weird thing for an overabundance of fall produce.
(The trick is to load the first layer of pumpkins stem side down.)
We also pick our own apples at an orchard in Charlottesville.
We pick so many that I have to make two trips to the car!
I think our family record was over 70 pounds.
Has anyone ever given you a piece of parenting advice that has really stuck with you?
It changed my perspective immediately and I started to practice it at the very next softball game I attended.
The six words: I love to watch you play.
Whats the hardest part about being a parent?
Learning to fail well in front of your child.
Whats your favorite part of the day?
I know this will be corny, but every part of every day.
I have metastatic kidney cancer and the likelihood to become cured is practically zero.
How can parents find ways to connect with their kids?
Find the small thing, the ritual, thatll be just between you and your child.
It could be anything!
Any other wisdom youd like to share?
Write a note on the napkin.
Last year I wrote about 180 napkin notes for Emma.
Dont think youre fooling them one bit.
