Whats it like to be a Muslim today?

A father of two, Ali shares with us how he parents.

Tell us a little bit about your family and your career.

Did life happen mostly as planned or were there surprises?

In my 20s, I thought Id be dead by 35.

I had an eventful decade.

We decided we should try having a family, give it a shot while my gametes could still swim.

And I was completely broke.

I had about $600 left in my account and no job.

They asked if I was interested in auditioning to be a co-host of a daily talk show calledThe Stream.

I told them I was really busy making IKEA furniture.

I let them assume I was kidding.

ET, helping launch a doomed online grid.

Lesson of the story?

Happy wife, happy life, follow your wife.

Take us through your morning routine.

What are your best tricks for getting out the door?

Some people use alarm clocks to wake up.

Or, they ignore me and I get to wake up with my cell phone alarm.

They expect me to feed them even though we have a nanny.

Usually, I make my escape at 1 p.m. those days.

There are no tricks.

You just have to leave when they arent paying attention, distracted or watching TV.

I usually try role playing.

I tell my son I need his Hulk Smash strength to shut the door for me.

How much outside help do you get as a parent?

Who or what cant you live without?

My wife is a superhero, working as a full-time doctor and assistant professor.

Our families live in Florida and California.

Thankfully, we have a nanny who comes in the morning and leaves early evening.

Without her, we wouldnt be able to work.

My heartfelt respect to single parents and those who cant afford this luxury.

What are the gadgets, apps, charts or tools you rely on?

Have you comeacross any weird parenting product that turned out to be life-changing?

While I was doing the daily TV show, my son, Ibrahim, was born.

In hindsight, I was not the best of dads during that first year of his life.

I loved him but our relationship wasnt strong.

After AJAM went off air, I started freelancing and had more time.

Within three months, I noticed that my relationship with my son became more tight, loving, special.

He actually enjoyed spending time with me.

We developed our weird games and impressions.

Has becoming a parent changed the way you work?

My insane babies are hepped up on natural baby cocaine and dont sleep until midnight.

Weve tried everything except drugs to knock them out.

They are just energetic, curious kids.

We give them naps.

We deprive them of sleep.

We try soothing music.

We give them calming baths.

So that means were on from the time we get home to the time they sleep.

This means I keep a graveyard shift.

I divide my work day into two halves.

The first half is late morning to early morning.

If I get a traditional 9 to 6 job, then I will probably be dead by 2019.

How do you decompress?

Well, Im a teetotaler but I hear alcohol and weed are great.

Id love to smoke weed.

Oh, Id light up everyday.

Id also love to drink Im sure but I fear Id transform into an alcoholic.

So in the absence of libations, my wife and I indulge with bi-weekly massages.

I also run, and Ive started stretching.

Just taking some time out during the day to relax and breathe helps.

Mostly, we actually enjoy our kids very much.

They dont necessarily stress us out.

We make silly faces and noises with them.

Play our absurd games.

Take them to the mall or to the park.

I honestly miss them most of the time.

But, itd be nice if the little bastards slept on time.

Whats been your proudest moment as a parent?

My children are still alive.

Somehow I have helped raise two living, breathing, healthy, happy, smiling kids.

I am fortunate and grateful to the universe.

He then said, I wish Baba was here, too.

What do you want your kids to learn from your example?

Honestly, Im just happy they look exactly like their mom.

I won the genetic dysfunctional lottery.

But she is also the kindest person Ive met.

Its disgusting being married to a nice human being who actually likes helping people.

Very, very annoying.

You have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and consider their feelings and trying forgiving people.

Madness, I tell you.

I hope they take her kindness.

Whats your favorite family ritual?

No one is the wiser.

Has anyone ever given you a piece of parenting advice that has really stuck with you?

give a shot to be as present as possible for each stage.

It all goes by so fast.

Each stage has its own rewards and challenges.

Also, you are responsible for your kids.

You brought them in this world, so dont whine or complain about them messing up your life.

Try integrating them into your life and passions and hobbies and routines as much as possible.

You brought your kids in this world, so dont whine or complain about them messing up your life.

Whats the hardest part about being a parent?

Will I be able to protect them from all the uncertainty, the danger, the demons?

Will I be able to provide?

How will I mess them up?

How much therapy will they need because of me?

Will they grow up to hate me?

I think parents are hardwired to always worry about our kids.

We are responsible for their safety and well being.

The one thing I would tell other parents who are juggling a career:

Enjoy the chaos.

The work will come, its always there, it never ends.