Your child is jumping on the couch forthe 50th time, despite yourepeatedly asking them not to.
Your child asks you for candy right before bedtime, and you say no.
Your child kicks you.
Or they want to play with sticks as swords.
When our children show us their worst behavior, our instinct is to exert control.
And the way to be less permissive is to setmorelimits.
But what if setting more limits is actually making the problem worse?
it’s possible for you to test this: tell someone (a partner, coworker, etc.)
that youre going to say ten words and then ask how they feel.
Now ask how they feel.
Then say yes ten times and ask again.
All of these nos end up setting the tone for our relationships with our children.
Setting fewer limits doesnt mean letting the kids rule the roost.
Were simply choosing the limits that are better grounded in our values.
Most of the time when we set limits, its around behaviors that arent new.
Its on repeated patterns of behavior that irritate the heck out of us, over and over again.
Instead of dealing with this stuff on the fly, we can make plans to do so in advance.
Is it something that is really (really) important to us?
If yes, were going to set a limit on that.
Just because were setting fewer limits doesnt mean were letting the kids rule the roost.
Were simply choosing the limits that are better grounded in our values.
Making a weird sound right next to us?
Youre welcome to make that noisein another room.
Jumping on the (ancient) sofa?
Lets head outside and throw a ball!
Our children go from testing every single thing to wanting to work with us.
She also hosts theSetting Loving (& Effective!)
