Conversely, you might force them into a deeper commitment when theyre not actually ready for one.
Is it ever wise to push an ultimatum?
Communicating about your wants and desires and setting a timeline isnt the same thing.
As Henriquez cautioned, its just not necessary to kickstart a relationship with an ultimatum.
This should be an ongoing conversationone, Do you want marriage?
and two, Do you want to marry me?
Ultimatums come from a place of you not having these conversations and not listening.
Rachel DeAlto, chief dating expert at Match, agreed.
Anyone issuing an ultimatum needs to be okay with their relationship ending if their demand is not met.
A far healthier approach would be to have boundaries set and intentions and desires communicated openly and often.
Dont cry wolf here and threaten a breakup if you arent serious about going through with it.
Save an ultimatum for the really important stuff instead.
Id really think of ultimatums as setting boundaries.
In my mind, I was counting down.
Making your intentions known while still giving the other person time to adjust is key.
Others may do better when given the chance to operate at their own pace.
Knowing your partners personality doesnt just matter in this instance; its important all the time.
First, considerwhythe subject at hand is a dealbreaker, Labanz said.
Know your own thoughts and feelings about the issue inside and out.
Consider the values driving your decision and be ready to present those to your partner, she said.
Be aware of areas that you feel flexible around the topic.
It wont surprise you to learn that even the presentation of an ultimatum involves a big conversation.
The goal here is, after all to move forward with a purpose.
Approach [gently], using I language, Labanz said.
Youre honoring yourself and your partner while speaking about your values.
