Tonight is the company holiday party.
Dont fuck it up.
The ways in which company holiday parties go horribly wrong can all be avoided by leaving the party early.
When you leave the party early, you minimize the probability that you will have more thantwo drinks.
How Early Are We Talking?
No one is trying to ruin your good time.
The company party is much anticipated with good reason.
Stay long enough for that.
The time to leave is when the party has been in full swing for an hour or two.
The din is just shy of deafening.
Youve had that pleasant experience of realizing someone you thought was boring is actually just shy.
The buffet is done, youre pleasantly buzzed and feeling good about things.
You look around at your coworkers and feel an expansive love for them.
You will be tempted to get a refill and do a lap to find someone else to chat with.
I mean, its been a good time so far and it can only get better!
Now is when you leave.
Remember Who You Are
You are a person who has a life outside of this party.
You have non-work friends and pets and people who love you.
Your life is not here in this banquet hall or bar or private Ruby Tuesday group party room.
That aggro FOMO voice going, You cant leave, what if it gets good?
What if your nemesis gets drunk with your boss and ends up getting promoted before you?
I think one of them was fired.
But you really dont want either of those things.
Think of Future You, waking up in your bed.
You know that line between an enjoyable time and oh god what I have done.
