So, readers, Im pregnant!
Current physical state: low and slow.
Im excited, a little overwhelmed and feeling all the feelings.
To which I reply, …Eh.
The kid has never wanted a sibling in an intense way.
When she found out she would soon have a baby brother, she was at first skeptical.
And then she became distraught.
At various moments over the past six months, shes exploded with specific anxieties shes been having.
When Im at kindergarten, youre going to have so much fun with the baby without me.
(Um, fun isnt how Id describe taking care of a newborn.)
All my baby videos will be replaced with the new baby!
(No way.)
(Probably true.)
When I move away to college, the baby will get to stay home and play with you!
(And hell hate it.)
Clearly, shes thought about this a whole lot.
My husband and I have tried to alleviate her fears.
Were giving her a journal to document the babys milestones.
Or feel whatever she wants to feel about this new person who will inevitably shake up her world.
This is not helpful.
Because maybe they dontat least not yet.
Brothers and sisters will discover affection in their own time, she writes.
You cant force love, so dont demand it.
Dont even expect it.
Doing so can make your child feel inadequate and possibly afraid of losing your love.
Ive appreciated this reminder as I watch Maggie navigate this big life transition.
I tell her that its okay to be upset or uncertain or sadI am, too, sometimes.
Its been an ongoing conversation.
And recently, shes been changing.
Im seeing glimpses of her warming up to the whole situation every day.
This ones for you, she said.
This ones for Daddy.
And then she gave me the last one.
This ones for baby brother.
And then shell giggle.
I see the beginning of an alliance and I am filled with both joy and fear.
I may not know what their relationship will look like, and I dont need to.
I am just happy to witness it unfold.
