There is a certain pattern to my evenings these days.
I pick up my son from after-school care.
I am happy to see him; he is happy to see me.
We smile, we hug, we walk out the door of the school.
And then, things get sour.
Or he asks me whats for dinner and the answer is anything other than spaghetti or whatever you want.
I know Im not alone.
Turns out, theres a name for this.
Some kids become weepy, while others scream, throw things and become generally unreasonable.
Older kids might act rude and disrespectful, hurling insults at you and their siblings.
Adults do this, too.
We follow the rules.
We go to the long meetings that could just as easily have been a quick email.
And then we go home and we vent.
To our partners, to our moms, to the dogwhomever or whatever is most readily available.
Our home (or happy hour with a friend) is our safe place.
We just want to go off the rails for a minute; we just want them to listen.
So
let them vent
.
So let them vent.
Let them have their after-school restraint collapse.
Its like when a parent and child reunite after the child has gone missing in a grocery store.
The parent will have a few seconds of clutching relief as they hug their child and then bam!
Defensive detachment kicks in with anger as they admonish their now-found child.
It can be easy to feel defensive yourself when they seemingly turn on you.
(I had a long day, too!
And jeez, all I said was hello.)
But a little empathy and patience can go a long way here.
and then, sit back and let them vent.
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