Youve got problems, Ive got advice.
This advice isnt sugar-coatedin fact, its sugar-free, and may even be a little bitter.
Welcome to Tough Love.
This week we have a very special edition of Tough Love.
Were going to break down this womans not-so-great first date beat by beat.
I simply want to give you the tools you better enrich your damn lives.
If for whatever reason you dont like my advice, feel free tofile a formal complaint here.
Now then, lets get on with it.
Hey Patrick,
I wanted to run a date I had by you.
I had been talking to this guy for a couple weeks who I met on OKCupid.
Talked on the phone a couple times and texted everyday.
So we finally planned a first date at an arcade bar.
For starters, waiting a couple weeks is probably too long of a screening period.
That said, an arcade bar is a great first date spot.
The games ensure theres always something for you to do and talk about.
He also says that he has a gift card thats going to expire soon and I dont mind that.
I did, however, think that he was going to pay the remainder of the bill.
But instead he looked at me after the meal and asked what I ordered.
We literally had the same exact thing.
We split a triple dipper and both had two margaritas.
But he kept mentioning that he thought I was going to drive and how that would be easier.
I apologized if what I said offended him and everything seemed cool.
This screams I just want to hookup!
Dont make me try…
This guy sounds like a tool and you couldnt assassinate his character even if you triedits not there.
…and thats when we called it a night and got the check.
Oh, thank god.
I know I couldve said something right then but I didnt.
Money you shouldnt have had to spend at Chilis in the first place, by the way.
Then after we part ways he texted me later that night.
He asked if I had told anyone that we were going on a date.
Then he asked how I was gonna describe the date to them.
Wow, okay weirdo… Fixate much?
I told him that Id say that we had pretty good conversation and it was cool.
He then said that he didnt enjoy himself.
And I just said ok take care.
He then insisted that he was joking and got mad that I was so quick to say goodbye.
I wasnt going to even mention the money thing, but he kept pushing me.
He got so pissed when I mentioned the money.
Which now that I think about it couldve been true.
This guy is an egotistical hothead.
Whether he knew that was your money or not, he treated you poorly and overreacted.
But now that Im sober and thinking about everything he said I feel like I may have overreacted.
And if I did, then theres no taking it back.
But how could I take a stab at explain my thought process?
You did not overreact, and you do not owe this guy a damn thing.
If anything, you couldve been more forward when these problems happened during the date.
Oh, and youre driving, by the way.
You didnt bite, so he tried to guilt you into it.
When that didnt workbecause youre smarter and safer than thathe got angry.
He knew you wouldnt say anything and wasnt going to go home empty-handed.
Do not let this creep fool you.
You did stand up for yourself here, but it was too little too late.
You could do more to help yourself in the future.
Next time, meet up sooner and see if theres chemistry right off the bat.
At least you would have had some fun playing games at the arcade bar.
And next time, definitely claim the dollars if theyre yours.
Being honest about whats your property is not going to rock the boat and ruin the mood.
