It was my first meeting with a new potential client, and they tossed out a number.

It was a good number, but I recently vowed to negotiate more.

So I threw out a higher number, then held my breath through the awkward silence.

The Equal Pay issue is complex and the reasons the wage gap exists are complicated.

Some statsshow thats trueandothers stats show its false.

Suddenly, the myth doesnt seem so busted.

They might even make a run at justify it.

They undervalue their worth: They assume theyll never be paid well.

Im not in it for the money.

This hit home so much.

I grew up poor and always assumed rich people were greedy.

I even wrote a post on how I romanticized poverty.

Its also easy to see why women might undervalue themselves professionally.

Stats aside, if you want to earn more, negotiating is a necessary part of the process.

Like I said, I hate negotiating.

Im not confrontational or assertive.

Ive always hated the idea of being difficult.

Negotiating is trickier for women.

What started as an experiment in negotiating turned out to be an exercise in confidence and empowerment.

I negotiated higher freelancing rates.

I negotiated my way out of a budget cut.

If you knew me, youd be surprised.

Ive always been the soft-spoken, agreeable girl who hates confrontation.

But that was part of the problem.

Conquering my fear of negotiating meant I had toconquer my fear of speaking up.

Here are a fewpoints and tips I kept in mindto get over my fear.

Hopefully we can make it happen in the future.

Rejection had always been my biggest negotiating fearand it wasnt that bad.

Practice When the Stakes Are Low

The more often you negotiate, the more comfortable you get with it.

This is why it helps to practice in low-pressure configs.

It was an easy way to get used to asking, which was the hardest part for me.

Plus, it gave me the confidence to be taken seriously as a negotiator.

This not only helped me get over the whole I hate confrontation thing, it also boosted my confidence.

Negotiating wasnt about being greedy.

It was about striving to reach my potential.

Research salary information on a site likeGlassdoorwhen you negotiate your raise.

Research vehicle value onKelley Blue Bookwhen you visit a dealership.

Research competitor promo rates when you haggle your cable bill.

Those are just for starters, but anyone with any negotiation experience will tell you: research is everything.

Im very torn on advice that encourages women to negotiate differently to avoid employer bias.

It sucks that this happens, but it happens.

Plenty of other successful women agree thatwomen have to think about negotiating differently than men.

I was nervous and I stammered a bit.

Perhaps I asked all wrong, but I asked.

Who knows if that client perceives me differently now?

Maybe theydothink Im greedy.

Maybe theydothink Im difficult.

The fact of the matter is, I asked.

Successful or not, it feels good to get more comfortable with negotiating.

It feels even better to get more comfortable with being difficult.