On a good first date, you want chat about hobbies, and siblings, and dream jobs.

Nobody wants to kill the vibe by inquiring how much student debt the other person has.

The subject of money, however, often gets pushed to the sidesometimes, until it’s too late.

We all have different relationships with money.

Some of us are cautious-minded savers, others are profligate spenders.

Some are always padding theirrainy day fund; otherscant resist purchasingnew stuff every paycheck.

Heres how to lay the foundation for ongoing financial intimacy.

Within your first few weeks or months of dating, start asking questions to uncover their financial situation.

It can begin casually with questions like, Are you more of a saver or a spender?

or Do you pay attention to the stock market?

or Whats your favorite thing to splurge on?

Keep in mind, disclosure isnt a one-way street.

Be prepared to share your own behaviors, habits, debts, and financial history in due time.

Asking how they were raised is one of the easiest ways to gain insight into their attitudes about money.

Were you encouraged to save from a young age?

Did your parents fight about money often?

Where did your family take vacations?

Saying something like, Im working towards saving enough to make this down payment.

Do you have any suggestions?

can open up a candid conversation and lend insight into their money behaviors without putting them on the spot.

This can (and should) eventually segue into questions abouttheirshort-term and long-term financial goals.

Things like:

What if you won the lotterywhat would you do with the money?

If you had to save 50% of your salary in one year, how would you do it?

But also ask real-world questions…

These specifics will round out the more general picture youre getting of their overall relationship with money.

Try something like, “I read this online article about having a money talk with your partner.

Why dont we just play along and try it out?

If you wanted to make a large purchase, would you consult your spouse beforehand?

How do you feel about setting joint financial goals?

What age would you ideally like to retire?

Have regular money talks

A couples discussion about finances should never be a one-off.

Once youve laid the foundation for open and honest communication about money, make it a habit.