You know who are the worst people on earth?
Dingbats who condescendingly scoff at creative works because theyre not modern.
The graphics aresoblocky and it doesnt auto-save every five seconds!
Dont let your child become that.
Start with these retro games and work your way up to Truffaut.
All that from a few pixels and a perfect design.
But even when Im playing my best, he beats me.
He smokes me atHalo.
Hes beaten my old ass at everyMario Kartgame ever made.
But notJoust.Joustis my last line of video game defense.
In your face, kid!
Your old man can still kick your ass!
Im not completely irrelevant … right?
(You should substitute whatever arcade game you wasted your youth playing, of course.
Theyre all available somewhere.)
Super Mario Bros. 3
Everyone likes this game.
Its impossible tonotlike this game.
Warning, though: Do not let your child play the Switch version.
It includes save slots.
As an added bonus, you’re able to name your city Fartburgh.
