You look tired.
Oh, do I?
Hmm, I wonder.
Was it planned?
Is that what you want to know?
That looks uncomfortable
Wow!
How observant you are.
Is your middle name Sherlock?
Have you ever won any medals or international contests for your high-level research skills?
It wants its intern back.
Youre so big!
Youre so tiny!
While on the surface this may seem like a compliment, steer clear.
Parents-to-be have many new fears and worries to occupy their minds.
Is it twins?
(Are you sure?
Theyre not always right, you know)
Ha ha ha!
Slow clap for originality.
Since were sharing invasive observations, you look like youre overdue for that upper lip electrolysis appointment.
Is that decaf?
Weve researched it, OK, Martha?
We know the acceptable limits, and we are enjoying them.
Weve already forsaken alcohol, sushi, all the soft cheese, cold cuts, and bagged lettuce.
Dont take our (less than 100mg of caffeine) cup of joe, too!
Will you be giving birth naturally?
Or will you be getting a highly toxic epidural?
Do you really want to drug your newborn?!
At least, thats how this question can feel.
If a close friend asks whether youre planning to take pain meds during labor, thats one thing.
I probably shouldnt tell you this while youre pregnant…
No, you shouldnt.
Are you planning to breastfeed?
And you know what every momdoesntneed more of?
(Before shes even had the kid.
Wow, youre brave!
This is one of those backhanded compliments you may not realize is shade at first.
(Who doesnt want to be brave?)
Said a different way:Why are you having another kid?
Dont you already have your hands full?
(The answer is yes, Donna, I sure do.
But I like suffering, OK?
Mind your business.)
So… are you done now?
Either way, like dont.
So whatshouldyou say to someone pregnant?
Can I help you with that?
When can I drop off some dinners you’re able to freeze to reheat later?
Do you need a good housekeeper?
and My niece babysits.
are all fantastic alternatives.
