Everything we do in life is, at the end of the day, in pursuit of happiness.
But trying too hard to be happy could actually keep you from experiencing real satisfaction.
Martin et al., 2002).
Happiness can turn into a dangerous level of complacency if you dont strike a balance.
Gruber suggests that the association between happiness and beneficial outcomes in your life is nonlinear.
That is,more happiness doesnt necessarily mean a better life.
Its okay to feel other emotionsto be sad, anxious, or frustrated.
Schooler, Ariely, & Loewenstein, 2003).
An example of this paradoxical effect in action is someone who wants straight As.
They study for hours and hours and end up severely disappointed when they get one B+.
The same thing can happen with your happiness.
Even if youre already doing something you enjoy, focusing too hard on being happy will lead to disappointment.
The less you try tobehappy, the more likely youll get it by doing things you like.
In a way, happiness is a feather slowly floating down from above.
If you reach out to try and catch it, the feather will swirl away.
When you achieve something, its hard not to feel happy.
Too much pride leads to aggressiveness towards others, antisocial behavior, and an increased risk of mood disorders.
Psychologists call this a growth-mindset, and its about focusing on the process instead of the endgame.
Focusing on the big picture is not only daunting, but its hardly actionable.
This way of pursuing happiness means proactively putting yourself in contexts that spontaneously trigger positive emotions.
Give yourself time with those little things every day.
Hey, this is an opportunity to feel good.
Really savor this positive experience
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Finally, as you sink into this experience, sense your intent that this experience is sinking into you
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Illustration by Fruzsina Kuhari.
