Through eavesdropping, I figured out they were a little book club.
I wanted to talk to other book nerds about one of my favorite books!
But, like, how?
Joining established groups is a skill we need from preschool through adulthood.
Now, thanks to readingDr.
Teaching them the six steps for joining a group will give them the confidence to get more involved.
Observing a group gives you important information, but it doesnt quite get you involved.
At some point they should move closer to the group.
The idea here is that you want to blendnot force, Silverman says.
Help out.Someone dropped a book, or kicked a ball out of bounds.
Theres always some little thing that gives a newcomer the opportunity to do a favor.
Compliment what you see.Who doesnt love compliments?
Paying a compliment to someone in the group lets them know you are friendly and interested.
Make an offer.A potential new group of friends is drawing Pokemon at recess?
Your kid could say, Hey, I have a book about drawing Pokemon!
Ill bring it to school tomorrow so we can share.
Asking a question can also be a good link, Silverman says.
Imagine a child wants to join a group making a sand sculpture on the beach.
You dont want your child just plopping themselves down and starting to build with the established group.
What are you making?
That will create more of a connection.Ive got an extra bucket- want me to get it?
Now youve got blending instead of forcing.
Preschool:In classroom, art center.
You dropped your red crayonhere you go!
I like the animals you are all drawing.
Your bear is so cute!
Ive got a brown crayon if you want to use it.
Im going to draw a bunny on my paper!
Were all drawing animals!
Elementary:Recess (Basketball rolls towards child).
Wow, nice shot!
Ive got an extra basketball, if you want to use mine too.
Then, get in line for a turn.
Tween:First day of middle school.
You all looking for Ms. Greens classroom?
I just finally found it.
I can show you if you want.
I love your shoes/backpack/hair!
I brought a million pencils, if you need one.
Theres a few empty seats together over here.
Want to sit together?
Teen:Play try-outs
They handed out these mini-scriptsdid you all get one?
They gave me a bunch.
I heard the three of you warming up beforeyour voices are amazing.
They said we should get in groups of four, want to be a group?
You want to be person A, B, C, or D?
Take the pressure off.
Your child doesnt need to connect with the whole group all at once!
Smile at one child and look for a smile in return.
One small connection can open up a whole established group, Silverman says.
What do you like to do after school?
It makes sense that you feel a little hurt.
Im here to listen or hug you or for whatever else you need.
Normalize:This happens with lots of kids.
For many people, it takes a few tries before they find the right fit.
Wonder:I wonder if theres a few kids who like to jump rope like you do.
Thats a great plan.
