Most of us have stories like this from our childhood.
Of course, it wasnt considered neglectful then, in the 1990s, so why might it be now?
Was something about our exploration inherently dangerous?
We never explored at dusk or by ourselves; we always stuck together.
There were risks, though.
But for the most part, we knew our limits and we stuck to them.
One is dangerous; the other is risky.
To choose to do the dangerous thing is often reckless.
Or, as my sons martial arts teacher says, it would be stupid.
Tell your friends youre not jumping off the cliff because jumping off cliffs isstupid, he says.
Trying to cross a neighborhood side street?
(Trying to cross the freeway, however?
That would be stupid.)
You have to find what works for you, says Weingarten.
It wontand shouldntlook like everyone elses.
Show them how to safely chop vegetables with the sharp knife, for example.
Let them slide the cake into the hot oven.
Show them how to look for and test out sturdy branches when youre climbing a tree.
Weingarten saysto focus on doing thingswithour kids rather thanforthem.
A lot of times, we dont even realize that were doing things for our kids.
Let kids try things on their own and rebel a little, says Weingarten.
This is how they learn about themselves.
When my son was 2 years old, we took him to the Maryland shore for the first time.
The first time the water touched his toes, it was clear that he was hooked.
But as each year went by, there was less hand-holding and more jumping and splashing into waves.
He gets knocked over.
He goes under and comes up sputtering.
Swimming in the ocean will always be risky, no matter how strong of a swimmer he becomes.
But, for him, it wont be dangerous.
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