Compliments (usually) feel good.
However, even if a compliment is well-intentioned, it can easily fall flat.
In personal relationships, compliments promote intimacy, trust, and an emotional connection …
When people feel valued, they are more likely to connect to others and develop positive feelings toward them.
What sort of compliment can actually be offensive?
For example: You lost weight; you look so much better!
Thats insulting, Rubenstein says.
Instead, say something like, You are really looking fit and great!
Another example: You look so much younger with that new hairstyle/color!
According to Rubenstein, this makes someone think that they looked old before.
Always emphasize only the positive.
This will make your spouse doubt your trust, Rubenstein says.
Instead, say, We are all so fortunate to have such an involved parent like you.
Its so great for the kids and for me.
And if you think saying something like, Youre so strong!
It reflects real feelings and appreciation for the person they complimented.
Meanwhile, a shallow compliment may be insincere, generic, and has little meaning behind it.
When giving a genuine compliment, Rubenstein says its important to be specific.
Highlight a particular action, quality, or accomplishment; this way, you come across as more sincere.
Additionally, she recommends being aware of cultural differences.
Different cultures can influence how a compliment is received.
To avoid this, be mindful of cultural norms when complimenting someone.
And lastly, if in a professional setting, verify your compliment is appropriate.
If not, this could create an uncomfortable situation and make the other person uncomfortable, Rubenstein says.
What are some good examples of compliments in a professional setting?
Your presentation was excellent!
You did a great job delivering key points and engaging with the audience.
I appreciate your strong work ethic and how hard you work.
Your creativity and innovative ideas have been really beneficial to the team.
Your positive attitude makes it a pleasure to work with you.
Ive learned a lot from working with you.
What are some good examples of compliments in a personal relationship?
You are an amazing partner, and Im so lucky to have you in my life.
You look so beautiful/handsome today.
I love how you (insert detail on specific outfits, hairstyle, etc).
You always make me laugh.
I feel so happy around you.
I love spending time with you.
Its one of my favorite things to do.
I appreciate how much you do for our family every day.
Your hard work does not go unnoticed.
