Not all of us lose our virginity at age 16 in the back of an old Camry.

Before

First things first: what does virginity mean to you?

Maybe youre queer, and theres no penis and/or vagina in the mix.

Or, vaginal intercourse might not be a part of your desired repertoire.

There may be other acts that have more meaning to you.

Its really up to each of us to decide what act constitutes losing our virginity.

Are you saving it for a committed relationship?

Youre probably going to be a big bundle of nerves before losing your virginity.

Let yourself feel whatever you gotta feel before, during, and afterwards.

You or your partner may not reach orgasm.

It takes time and practice to learn how to have great sex.

Youll get there eventually, but not your first timeand thats okay!

Try focusing onthe acts youve already doneand feel comfortable with to bolster your confidence.

If there are lady parts and penetration involved, your first time may also be somewhat painful and bloody.

The oft-misunderstood hymen doesnt block off her vaginal canal, and doesnt pop during sex.

Its a permeable membrane that likely already has a number of perforations in it.

After

Be prepared for clean-up.

As mentioned above, there may be some blood involved.

There may also be lots of bodily fluids that are rapidly sliding their way out of your orifices.

Have a box of Kleenex or a towel nearby.

You do not want to celebrate losing your virginity with a nasty UTI.

Here are some tips to for avoiding many of the common virginity-losing pitfalls:

Talk about your expectationsbeforehand.

Simply talking it out can help decrease your nerves and set more realistic expectations.

Or maybe you both agree to take your time and make it special.

It doesnt have to be your wedding night.

If youve decided to wait until marriage, I highly recommend doing it the day after your wedding.

Sure, you could force yourself to have sex, but who wants that as their first-time memory?

Navigating your first time takes a little effort, so you want to have all your wits about you.

A glass of wine is fine to calm your nerves, but try not to get too tipsy.

Spend plenty of time on foreplay.

Plus, it will help you both relax and feel more excited about sharing this experience.

The vagina is a little harder to locate than you might think, especially if youre eager and nervous.

If you let your fingers do the finding, youll avoid awkwardly jabbing at her with your penis.

Dont pressure yourself or your partner to orgasm.

There are enough things to worry about without adding orgasm to the mix.

Focus on enjoying the sensations instead.

Dont worry if you dont enjoy it.

Lots of people didnt particularly like sex the first time they had it.

Having a crappy first time is not a harbinger of sexual doom.

Think of it as an excuse to have another go really soon.

Have fun, and welcome to the wonderful world of being a sexually active adult!