They asked me if Id heard of Feeld.
Somehow, I hadnt.
This sex could be with a longterm loving partner or a series of shorter-term partners, loving or not.
Its a big world.
Cast off your prudery and join me on Feeld, fellow daters.
I downloaded the app within an hour of discovering it and started swiping.
The reasons why are maybe more diverse than youd think.
No one ever messages me and asks what it means when I say that Im pansexual.
Not even the cis het menthey still message me.
So are most people on every dating apptheyre just not upfront about it.
On Feeld, you’re free to ask someone what theyre into, and theyll tell you.
And because some people are into very specific things, theyre good at articulating what those things are.
Which allows everyone to enter into an arrangement with a clearer understanding of what each party wants.
Communication is the first step in consent.
You feel comfortable setting essential boundaries
Feeld isnt perfect, by a long shot.
Its populated by all the same weirdoes sitting around you in the coffee shop right now.
Most of them I dont want to meet.
My profile is extremely explicit about what Im into, what Im looking for, and what Im not.
Through trial and error, Ive learned more about what Im comfortable with just through talking to people.
Women, in particular, are socialized to downplay their sense of discomfort to be polite.
On Feeld, I never make excuses for someone if they say something weird or hostile.
No to people Im not interested in.
No to things I dont want to do.
Rejecting those people has gotten easier and easier and I have no regrets.
Its fun to explore
The truth is, Im not particularly kinky.
I could have only vanilla sex for the rest of my life, if chemistry and skill were involved.
But I dont have to, and Im happy to try lots of things.
If I like someone and they have a very particular fantasy, its fun to experiment.
I have found myself feeling generally more attractive and confident.
Its such a refreshing difference from the desultory heys of Bumble.
Be honest with yourself about what you want, honest in your profile, and honest in conversation.
Feeld may reveal to you that there are far more people who want the same thing than you thought.
