Those are bad habits, but there are bigger, more systematic time wasters that havereallygotten in the way.
Fixing these will free up a massive amount of time and energy.
He told me to organize it in a way that made zero sense to me.
Finally, my coworker came in, and I confessed I had no idea what to do.
It was harsh, but true.
It made me wonder how much time Id wasted by not asking for help over the years.
As dumb as you might feel asking questions, its the fastest way to get an answer.
Similarly,asking for helpis a great way to, well, get help.
This is why networking andfinding a mentorare hugely valuable.
Try Leo Widrichsformula for asking for helpvia email:
2-3 sentences of honest appreciation.
There is a reason you are asking someone for help.
1 sentence that states a single, focused question people can give you an answer to.
They cloud your judgment, prolong your unhappiness, and distract you from things that matter to you most.
Thats a valid silver lining, but still, the sooner you learn those lessons, the better.
Similarly, not dealing with the emotional impact of a breakup is also a big waste of time.
When a relationship ends, we usually go through thetypical stages of grief associated with loss.
Its easy to get comfortable with denial and convince ourselves we dont really care and were fine.
In reality, ignoring the pain only prolongs it.
Ourwork suffers; the rest of our relationships suffer.
Dwelling on Your Mistakes and Shortcomings
Learning from your mistakes is one thing.
Dwelling alsomakes you more apt to repeat your mistakes.
Before shopping, some subjects were asked to recall a past financial mistake.
They found those subjects were more likely to incur debt.
When you think about your own experiences, it probably makes sense.
Dwelling makes you feel like a failure.
(Hence, getting further into debt when you already feel like an overspender.)
Of course, you dont want to skip over your mistakes and ignore them either.
The goal is to glean something from them, thenrelease the failure.
I likeEmilie Wapnicks process for doing this:
to let the past go, you must forgive yourself officially.
Feel the embarrassment or shame one final time.
Really feel it throughout your body.
Next, tell yourself that everyone makes mistakes and you know you that that outcome was not your intention.
It was an accident.
Finally, make the decision to forgive yourself and do it.
It helps to even say it out loud.
From now on, its okay.
Then push the thought away.
For years, I stayed in a comfortable place and didnt venture to do things I wanted to do.
Eventually, I got tired of this.
I decided to find work I actually enjoyed, travel more, and live somewhere else.
Still, I think the bigger mistake was not trying sooner.
Even if I failed, I wouldve learned from my mistakes much sooner.
Worrying Too Much About Other People
Its easy to waste time worrying about other people, too.
But we also spend a lot of time fretting over problems that dont matter in the long run.
For example, I spent yearsgetting annoyed with people who undermine me.
Those habits always lead to a dead end, because they didnt involve action.
I also indulged anothertime wasting emotion: jealousy.
I compared myself to everyone, wanted what they had, and felt inadequate.
In short,I embraced that jealousy.
I like to use the five whys when handling a question like this.
Then, see if there isnt a way for you to address those smaller pieces in your own life.
Again, lets take that international trip.
What elements am I desiring when it comes to that trip?
I want to expose my children to different cultures….
Either way, thats a lot more productive.
Regret is another big waste of time, so theres no point in beating yourself up over these.
Illustration by: Sam Woolley
