Childhood emotional neglect (CEN) shows up when caregivers fail to fulfill a childs emotional needs.
How can you tell the difference, and what impacts do they have on a child?
Now imagine these types of scenarios happening everyday in two different families.
These responses look and feel different and therefore leave different effects into adulthood.
The former isemotional neglect, which is a passive action that might be difficult to notice while its happening.
CEN happens when parents fall short in acknowledging or responding to a childs emotions.
CEN isnt necessarily about what a parentdoesso much as about what the parentdoesntdo.
The impact of emotional maltreatment in childhood
Neglect is themost common form of child maltreatment.
However, the realization you may have experienced CEN isnt always obvious.
Children who grow up in emotionally neglectful families might sense something is wrong but dont know what it is.
These adults are also at higher risk of developing a Borderline or Avoidant Personality Disorder.
CEN can take many forms, like passive neglect and active emotional invalidation, so here are the distinctions.
What is passive emotional neglect?
A child is often upset.
The parent doesnt notice and brushes off any attempts the child might make to communicate their feelings.
The lesson a child takes away:Their feelings arent important.
A child makes mistakes and poor choices.
The parents completely ignore the poor choices and assume theyll figure it out on their own.
The lesson a child takes away:They dont have an opportunity to learn properly.
The family avoids any uncomfortable or emotional topics.
Conversations are superficial and conflicts are avoided at all costs.
The lesson a child takes away:They never learn how to effectively communicate and articulate needs and feelings.
They learn its best to avoid discussing feelings with others.
A child is angry and the parents disapprove or separate themselves from the child.
The lesson a child takes away:They believe anger is objectively bad.
They learn to keep it inside or else it will drive people away.
What is active emotional invalidation?
Here are examples of active emotional invalidation, as well as what a child could learn from each scenario.
A child is hurt.
A child is upset and the parent overrules a childs feelings by expressing larger and more intense emotions.
A child is sent to their room whenever they exhibit a negative emotion.
Whether you experienced passive emotional neglect or active emotional invalidation, the effects are very real.
Passive neglect can be subtle and it might be difficult to pinpoint, which only makes self-doubt even stronger.
If any of the examples listed above sound familiar to you, you may have grown up with CEN.
There are ways to heal, one of which is therapy.
Finding a therapist who lists any of these types of treatment will be helpful.
Ultimately, it is never too late to become aware of your mental health and seek to change it.
There is a path to heal, and youre already on your way.
