The Out-of-Touch Adults' Guide to Kid Culture: Are Your Children Drinking Borgs?

Even kids acting like they invented shit thats been around for thousands of years isnt new.

You did it too.

So enjoy this selection of new-old news, gramps.

Internet drags DiCaprio, but is it warranted?

Get your fainting couch ready for this one, parents, lest you crash directly to the floor.

According tobreathless media reports, the rage on college campuses this semester is Borg binging.

Whats a Borg (other than Captain Picards worst enemy onStar Trek: The Next Generation)?

Its basically a way ofgetting drunk!

These kids are not studying, and theyre wearing skirts above the knee!

That said: Youcandie shockingly easily from alcohol poisoning, and its not even that great of a drug.

But lets not feign surprise.

Back in the day, we made our Borg with Everclear and Kool Aid and called it Jungle Juice.

Our grandparents called their Borg rum punch.

None of this is new.

Videos tagged #Kneething have over 70 million views on TikTok.

None of this is new.

The boots in question are from pop culture provocateursMSCHF.

According to MSCHF, You never design shoes to be shaped like feet.

Big Red Boots are REALLY not shaped like feet, but they are EXTREMELY shaped like boots.

Cant argue with that.

They are also apparentlyextremely difficult to remove.

(Im not sure why youd want to take them off, to be honest.)

Oh, almost forgot: We had these too.

We called them moon boots, our great-great-great-great (etc) grand parents in the Middle Ages called thembrodequins.

None of this is new.

You know whatisnew?

The exciting and engrossing video games coming from Nintendo!

Time is a flat circle!

Were all going to keep running the same patterns again and again until we sink into our peaceful graves!

(But on the plus side: Theres a newLegend of Zeldagame coming out.)