A friend of mine once went on a tirade about how she wouldnotraise a disrespectful kid.
Thats just not happening, she said.
He will not talk back.
Respect is way too important to me, and I wont put up with him being rude.
Her son was about a year old at the time.
Mine was a few years older.
So, I laughed.
Yeah, sounds great, I told her.
If you figure out the secret, pass it along to me, okay?
Kids, they talk back.
And developmentally, theyshould.
It is useful to see back talk as a form of communication that needs to be better understood.
Still, its annoying at best and infuriating at worst.
Luckily, there are some things we can do to minimize the back-talk and de-escalate the situation.
Loosen the reins
All day long, kids are bossed around.
we shouldnt be totally surprised.
Do you want to take a shower tonight or tomorrow morning?
Do you want a snack before or after homework?
The less we smother and dictate, the more they might relax.
Pick your battles
Not all back-talk is created equal, so draw your lines in the sand.
What can you live with, and what really is unacceptable?
McCreadyis speaking my language here.
Simply say, I feel hurt by the way youre talking to me.
When I hear that tone of voice, Im going to walk away.
We can talk again when you’re able to speak respectfully to me.
Next time it happens, theres no need for even a warningsimply leave the room.
Youre sending the message that you refuse to participate in a power struggle.
And when theres no one to fight with, theres no fight!
If you struggle with that in the moment, make a run at channel your innerMichelle Obama.
When they go low, we go high.
When they talk back, we stay calm.
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