When you feel utterly powerless against debt, it only makes the process more difficult.
Learn to Practice Gratitude
Its only natural to feel resentful when youre paying off debt.
You have to give up certain luxuries so you can pay down your balance, even small luxuries.
When your balance is massive, it feels like you have to give up on those expenses forever.
All of the things I couldnt do.
It was paralyzing and made me want to spend more on things to make myself feel better.
After dealing with depression, Lockert saw a therapist at her grad school to talk about her issues.
At her therapists suggestion, she started writing downthree things she was grateful forevery day.
They could be anything at all.
I was already rich in many other ways.
Astudy published in Psychological Science (PDF)backs this up.
Researchers then asked them if they wanted a little bit of money now or a larger amount later.
you’re able to see how results varied:
I can relate to Lockerts experience, too.
I spentyears operating with a mindset of scarcity.
When you feel confident and empowered, its easier to tackle overwhelming goals, too.
The whole concept of keeping up with the Joneses is based on jealousy.
For example, like most people, when I feel jealous, I feel inadequate.
In the past, when I felt inadequate, I would often compensate with buying clothes or other distractions.
Subconsciously, I figured Ilookedgood enough, Id feel worthwhile.
Not only is this emotionally destructive, it destroyed my finances, too.
Lifehacker alum Melanie Pinolawrote about her own experience overcoming jealousy.
Trent Hamms Five Whys Method helped me.
Over at The Simple Dollar,Hamm writes:
The whole issue of jealousy comes down to desire.
You want it in your life.
The question is, why do you want it in your life?
I like to use the five whys when handling a question like this.
Lockert explains:
If youre jealous of someones success, let that inspire you to work harder.
If they can do it, so can you.
Everyone has to start somewhere, and you cant compare yourself to someone elses journey.
In her book, Lockert explains how she used jealousy to her advantage, too, by networking.
Shereached out to peersshe envied and asked for insight and career advice.
This serves a practical and an emotional purpose.
However, you also expand your online grid this way, opening yourself up to more earning opportunities.
Thats a lot easier said than done, though.
Most people dont have jobs that offer unlimited pay.
Most people dont have free time to pick up a second job or side gig.
This iswhere resourcefulness comes in.
I felt stuck and wasnt sure how to get out of the situation.
How could I get out of this situation?
What could I do to turn this challenge into something else?
Sure, there are a lot ofways to earn extra money, but they might work for everyone.
At some point, you have to rule out the answers thatdontwork for you and focus on opportunities instead.
Lockert said:
Not being able to secure full-time work did a number on my self-esteem.
I felt like I wasnt worthy of a job or worthy of making money.
Because of the struggle, I got into side-hustling to make more money.
I worked as a brand ambassador, event assistant, pet sitter, mothers helper, and more.
I did whatever I could do.
Once I stopped focusing on a traditional job, I realized there were money making opportunities all around me.
Work begets more work, especially if you do a killer job, follow-up and build your reputation.
Lockert started looking at her obstacles as opportunities.
For example, her opportunity was overtime at her awful job.
Most people would not see that as an opportunity, she admitted.
Of course, that solution isnt going to work for everyone.
The point is: you have to figure out what works for you.
Learning to look for opportunities to pay off your debt will go a long way.
Its really about activating hope, when things may feel hopeless.
Most of the debt advice you read emphasizes the tools and tactics you gotta get out of debt.
Dont get me wrong, those tools and methods arent just important to learn, theyre necessary.
However, its easy to overlook the psychological toll of debt, and debt can really drag you down.
It makes you feel defeated, helpless, and totally out of control.
Its difficult to conquer any goal when you feel that way.
Illustration by: Sam Woolley
