But its easier to figure out what not to say.
Some responses you blurt out instinctively end up being unhelpful, factually incorrect, or shame-inducing.
You always seem happy, you dont seem depressed.
Depression doesnt always look a certain way.
Familiarize yourself with thecommon signs and symptoms, but know that depression manifests differently from person to person.
Happiness is a choice./ Its all in your head.
People dont choose to be depressed, Anderson saysin Parade.
When you frame depression and happiness as deliberate choices, you oversimplify the issue at hand.
Someone going through depression will not feel like they can simply cheer up or snap out of it.
Would you tell someone to snap out of a broken leg?
This too shall pass.
This, or any other platitude like let it go, or time heals all wounds.
Everyone gets down sometimes.
De-stigmatizing mental health issues is one thing; normalizing them to the point of dilution is another thing entirely.
So while a statement like the above may be true, its also pretty dismissive.
Youre acting selfish.
Depending on your relationship to the depressed person, you might feel at the end of your rope.
They are not selfish; they are just not well.
Even if youre personally frustrated, venture to keep perspective.
But look at how great your life is.
Similarly: It cant be that bad; It could be worse; You thinkyou have it bad…
Comparisons dont help a depressed person.
Depression is highly personal and does not warrant a justification of any kind.
Any comparison could completely minimize and dismiss someones daily life experience, says Magaviin Insider.
Just try eating better and exercising!
Whileits true that exercise can help to manage depression, its not a standalone treatment plan.
This is scientifically inaccurate, not to mention condescending.
So, what should you say to help someone experiencing depression?
Dont let all the phrases above discourage you from saying anything at all.
The key to supporting someone struggling with depression is to make it clear that youre there for them.
Focus on phrases that demonstrate unconditional care, not judgment.
Here are some ideas you’re free to use:
Thank you for telling me.
Im here if you want to talk.
I love you / Youre important to me / Youre not alone.
Have you spoken to [doctor, therapist, family] about these feelings?
This must be hard for you, but youre doing the right thing by talking about it.
What can I do to help?
When in doubt, lean on open-ended questions and validating statements about what theyre going through.
Often the most helpful thing it’s possible for you to do is simply listen to your loved one.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat1-800-273-8255for support and assistance from a trained counselor.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
