Teenagers dont enjoy talking to their parents.
Actually, scratch that.
Many dont talk that much to their friends either, at least not with their voices.
Teenagers like to text.
Sometimes they even text the people sitting right next to them.
Its a strange way of life.
Typically, young adults want to manage their own affairs.
Texting solves a lot of impediments in the communication process.
For teens, it solves the problem of getting the words out.
Texting also removes the need to look someone in the eye when speaking.
Texting eliminates a common area of miscommunication.
For parents, texting offers the gift of time.
It gives both parties a period to think about their words and process what is being said.
A few months ago I learned just how powerful this parenting hack can be.
My daughter came home visibly upset.
So I said, Text me.
Without a moment of thought, my daughter put her head down and started typing.
I patiently avoided eye contact, waiting for my text to arrive.
With a ding, I was let into her world.
We texted long enough to get out the basics and break the ice.
Then we were able to talk it out verbally.
Since that moment we regularly use texting to communicate.
Its our thing, and I love it.
There will be times when it will be easier and faster just to talk.
Im sure Ill get frustrated with waiting for each text to arrive.
Its the words that are most important here, not the mode of communication.
Here are some tips to carefully develop your texting relationship with your kids.
Give some space.Some teens will still feel inhibited texting parents while they are nearby.
This is partly because kids fear seeing the reactions from their texts.
The space will wipe the air and create a safe environment for your teen to open up.
Dont push it.When teens feel pressed into talking about their feelings their resistance goes up.
The more parents make a run at pry into their kids lives, the more guarded they become.
So go in slowly.
You might try, Hi honey, I can see you are looking down.
If its hard to talk you might text me whats going on.
Loosen up.Texting is an art, not a graded academic paper.
Grammar flies out the window, substituted for acronyms and emojis.
At first the spelling and loose language is jarring.
But once you get the hang of it, its freeing.
And those emojis are actually an incredible way to identify feelings.
Keep it brief.Kidshateparagraphs on texts.
Say what you have to say, but do it in as few words as possible.
In other words, dont freak out immediately.
Ask questions instead of solving problems.
Try not to lecture or give too much of your opinion.
Give it a rest.If you try texting and nothing comes of it, leave it alone.
it’s possible for you to retry at another point in time.
