Grief is awful, but it can also be awkward.

Of course, your intentions are good and you want to make things better, not worse.

Heres what you gotta know.

Dear Lifehacker,This year has been a very difficult one for me.

A close friend passed away and a few other people I know also lost loved ones.

I never know what to say or how to act at times like these.

What can I say when nothing seems appropriate or it all sounds like cliches?

Signed,Stumbling for Words

Dear Stumbling,Were sorry to hear that.

Its hard not to feel at a loss for words.

When someone you care about or know is grieving, words never seem to be enough.

Every death is also unique.

Then give more comforting words or gestures of support (see below).

Also, avoid saying things like, at least theyre with their husband/wife/father/mother/child in heaven.

Again, the grieving person may not believe in heaven and either way, this isnt helpful.

Both may be well-intentioned, but both should be avoided.

Saying you shouldnt feel that way could make the other person feel ashamed or guilty.

So, while you may be experiencing sadness, someone else may be experiencing anger.

Also, dont give the person a grieving timeline, saying oh, youll feel better in two weeks.

Even if that was your own experience with grief, that doesnt mean it translates to others.

If you knew the person who passed away, you could add in meaningful memories.

But like,pleasedont repeatedly check in with the person, demandingor even expectinga response.

I know youre dealing with a lot, so just dont feel obligated to respond.

Its OK to be lost for a while.

It gave her permission to mourn and flounder if she needed toand breathe.

You have to be mindful when you use it, though.

Depending on the circumstances and your relationship with the other person too, this could be a terrible question.

That lookthe one of a parent who just lost her childis one I hope you never see.

If youre speechless, sometimes thats exactly the right thing to saynothing, Strauzer says.

Acknowledge the loss and show your support in other ways.

A simple hug might do.