What Not to Say to a Friend Going Through a Breakup (and What to Say Instead)

You dont need to have the preternatural gifts of an empath to support your friend going through a breakup.

Heres how to be there for your heartbroken friend.

Let them vent

The best thing you’re free to say might be nothing at all.

Weve covered how tobe a good listener when someone needs to vent.

Remind your friend what really makes them special, and how thats why you know theywillget through this.

Some classic offenders that will only minimize your friends feelings:

Everything happens for a reason.

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

you might do better.

Anything pertaining to The One.

This is not the time to talk about the mythic One.

Would [favorite movie/snack/activity] help right now, or is it not a good time?

Is it okay if I bring up [something specific about their relationship]?

Would it help to hear about what I felt during my last breakup?

AsDr.

Suzanne Lachmanwrote inPsychology Today: Remember, their grieving process is not on your timeline.

Guiding, cajoling, and pushing will by no means speed up the process.

No one has ever been healed after hearing,Hey, being single rocks!

If nothing else, never underestimate the power of a simple that sucks.

Your friend just doesnt need to know that right away.

One of the worst things to hear is that your friends secretly hated your partner the whole time.

This can diminish the fresh loss or, more importantly, undermine your own friendship.

Bad-mouthing the ex too soon can damage the way your friend sees you in their support system going forward.

Then it might be time for tough love.

Recognize when its time to prioritize your friends safety over their feelings.

Your friend is grieving, and grief is all-consuming.

Show your support by taking care of the little things.

Your role shouldnt be to fix your friend.

If you start noticing yourself being treated less like a friend and more like a therapist, considersetting boundaries.

At the end of the day, your most important role as a friend is simply being there.

You dont need to be perfect, as long as youre present.