Everything was upside down, he says.

He opened up to some of his friends, but didnt find any support.

Their reaction was basically, Dude, suck it up.

You have three kids.

What were you thinking?

The reaction is a common one.

They also experience higher levels of anxiety disorders than at other times in their lives.

Expressing stress and distress in these ways is often more socially acceptable for men, says Fisher.

Villano recalls feeling like he had no control of anything.

I was up at 4 AM every morning for no reason at all, he says.

I had this inability to manage my own game.

Its also useful to know that there may be a delayed onset for fathers, says Fisher.

Learn Why It Can Happen

Its not rocket sciencehaving a baby is stressful.

Fathers worlds are changing completely, and maybe in a way they were underprepared for, Villano says.

Very strong, very successful people suffer from depression, he says.

Its just something that happens to people, and it is beyond our control.

It was a recalibration, a realization that Im not Superman.

Reach Out for Help

There are an increasing number of resources available for dads who are struggling.

Two good places to start arePostpartum Support InternationalandPostpartummen.

Paulson also recommends talking to your primary care physician.

And most of these treatments are time limited, Paulson adds.

They dont involve sitting on somebodys couch for years on end.

Antidepressant medication is also an effective treatment with or without therapy.

Even patients who dont experience a full remission of depression gain a sense of mastery, he says.

They may feel these symptoms, but they have a sense of what to do.

They feel its no longer something that beats me up without my control.

I need to take care of my family, Paulson says.

Part of caring for your family requires that you care for yourself.

Its no longer a luxury to say, I will take care of myself later.

it’s crucial that you take care of yourself for the benefit of your child and your partner.

When one parent or both are sick, its going to affect the whole family, Fisher says.

There are things you could do to ease the stresses of this time in life.

The first is getting adequate sleep.

Moving your body is also proven to lessen the symptoms of depression and anxiety.

When taking care of yourself, Fisher recommends asking, What is the biggest bang for my buck?

What gives you an opportunity to have down time, however brief, with no other responsibilities?