Keep in mind that Parton is 74 years old.
While its tempting to draw our own conclusions, we dont actually know the full story.
(She hasmentioned having fertility issuesin earlier interviews, but its often more complicated than that.)
In other situations its circumstantial and beyond a persons control.
The bottom line is, people without kids arent all in the same boat.
For people who are childfree by choice, questions about why they havent reproduced is definitely irritating.
But for those in that position for reasons beyond their control, it can be devastating.
Why do people think its OK to ask about a lack of children?
For me, that helps.
It makes me feel less annoyed, she says.
What about gender?
But, Blackwell points out, this doesnt mean that men are all off the hook.
But for others, its something that can be upsetting and flustering every time it happens.
If I get pushback, I say, I dont need to justify my choice.
Any time we can help people understand that asking about a persons childfree status is harmful is helpful.
It often can also illuminate for the other person the inappropriate nature of these highly personal questions.
Voluntarily choosing not to have kids goes against society so much that it seems to shock some people.
You cant convince these people no matter what you do.
The best way to do is it to simply let them talk, and be happy.
Focus on being selfish now and selfless later
From Lauren Peacock, author ofFemale.
Choosing my career now and working towards these goals are things that I want for myself.
When you throw kids into the mix, your life is supposed to revolve around them.
Or sometimes well even just say We just dont.
Not everybody needs to be privy to the motivating forces in your life.
I had to make a choice though.
Living with the possibility of having kids kept my life stuck.
Now, the question I get is Do I regret my choice?
The answer is simply, no.
Our go-to is, Oh were not done having fun yet.
Do you want to see pictures of our trip to Angkor Wat this year?
What did you do this summer?
We want kids someday, but its just not in our plans right now.
When we first knew were not going to have a baby at all, we were devastated.
And it was even more devastating in times when someone asks why we dont have one yet.
We are very sensitive about it at first, but eventually, we learned to cope up with it.
Its not their fault for not knowing the real reason why.
And you cant prohibit them from asking either.
So we decided to just go along with it instead of taking it personally.
My response is generally that Ive been
trying
to get pregnant, but its not working…
I have other priorities is a gentle way of answering, but still somewhat sharp.
Parenthood is just not for me might be the kindest response.
At first we were honest, saying we were trying, but having trouble.
But that led to extremely awkward conversations with the other person just backpedaling like crazy.
It was uncomfortable for everyone involved, so we stopped doing it.
Instead we just ended up saying it wasnt yet the right time for us.
That kept questions to a minimum, as people will read into that what they wish.
Well, I wish I knew the answer.
Ive been wondering all these years why Im still not a parent.
At my age, Ive been bombarded with a lot of inquiries about why I dont have kids yet.
