Sometimes, a decision thats even tougher to make than Should we have a child?
is Should we have another child?and if the answer is yes, then the question becomes When?
Its very complex and very personal.
While you cant always choose thewhen, you could know what might be in store with each age gap.
when you land multiple age gaps, things cant be summed up as neatly.
Also, when you have children with special needs, that changes things as well.
As I mentioned, its all very complex and very personal.
Less Than a 1.5-Year Gap
The gist:Its the rip-off-the-Band-Aid approach to parenthood.
Youre already deep in the trenches, so it can make sense to multi-task.
Theres efficiency and possible savings in this get-it-done plan.
(That is, if youre only having two kids.)
(Shared bathwater, anyone?)
Its alsoas parents whove done it attestreally, intensely difficult to juggle two mostly-helpless beings at once.
Remember all the crap you had to carry when you had your first baby?
writesKaren Alpert of Baby Sideburns.
Now multiply that times two and add another poop machine to the mix.
No need to put high chairs, changing tables and cribs in storage for years.
Then once youre done with it, youre really done with it.
That makes your life easier.
You may get to avoid (major) issues of jealousy with your firstborn once the new baby arrives.
You may save money.
Mentally, you arein it.
Your kids may be constant companions and playmates.
Cons:
A womans body may not be ready for another baby so quickly.
Two college tuitions at the same time.
Life may be very stressful for a while.
Mothers of twins or close siblingshave a higher risk of postnatal depression.
I had two in diapers, and felt like I just changed butts all day.
My oldest was still a baby himself, and had no idea what had happened.
It shook his little world, and it was a big adjustment for all of us.
I remember nursing my one-month-old and trying to clean up after my 17-month-old.
There were days all three of us were crying.
She adds, But it got easier as they got older.
A two-year age gap generallylets a moms body recoverbetween pregnancies.
The kids will still be able to grow up in the same schools together.
you could still generally keep them on similar schedules (with naps, bedtime, etc.)
Thesibling rivalrymight be intense.
A child in their Terrible Twos plus a newborn can make your whole house feel explosive.
The older child might not understand the concept of being gentle with the new baby.
What parents say:Its amazing when theyre all at the same school.
Im not sure if thats an age gap thing or just our reality, she says.
(Sorry, guinea-pig firstborns.)
The oldest child can helplike actually helpwith the new baby.
The oldest child may be potty trained.
They can also be pretty independent, feeding and dressing themselves on their own.
double-check the big kids (anyone over six months) get their flu shot.
Sibling rivalry is still very real.
And now the older kids are bigger and stronger.
The big one just got her Legos destroyed by the small one.
Its just always something.
Both end up yelling at different times.
I dont really have any cons.
I like this age gap.
And yet, mentally, it can be difficult to get back into that zone.
Larger age gapsbenefit the older child academically.
The spacing may give parents extra time to work on their careers and increase their incomes.
you’re able to really focus on each child separately.
Your oldest can babysit the youngest (eventually).
The kids might not be close playmates early on.
This spacing isnt always possible due to the biological clock.
What a parent says:My kids are 10 and 3, says a mom named Brooke.
I was not planning to have this big of an age gap.
But when our oldest was 2, the economy tanked and I lost my job.
We were in no position to try for a second.
A year or so later, we were ready!
Our first took 3 months to conceive.
Our second took over two years and a little medical help.
He was able to be an only child for a bit and also experience being a sibling.
They absolutely love each otherno joke.
They adore each other and never fight.
Being pregnant at 37 is way different than being pregnant at 30.
Your body is not the sameyou feel your age.
