Youve got problems, Ive got advice.
This advice isnt sugar-coatedin fact, its sugar-free, and may even be a little bitter.
Welcome to Tough Love.
This week we have a man whos in a relationship, but also isnt.
I simply want to give you the tools you better enrich your damn lives.
If for whatever reason you dont like my advice, feel free tofile a formal complaint here.
Now then, lets get on with it.
Hello Sir Patrick Allan,
Theres this girl.
We have been friends for a long time.
Thing is, we have no official title.
She doesnt want an official label, and for the most part I agree.
Weve both been through the nastiness that is an official relationship.
By leaving the titles behind, we enjoy the good aspects of a relationship and not the badideally.
Lately, weve been arguing A LOT.
And its always about the same shit.
Its not the best past, especially for a girl like this.
Shes a good girl.
But Ive come a long way and I thank her for a good chunk of that.
I dont drink anymore, or smoke, or go further than glancing at pretty women.
I recently graduated college, got a decent job, and live on my own.
Yet despite the changes, we cant seem to stop arguing.
or Is he someone I know?
Then shell get defensive and angry.
We got into a similar argument again.
She got really mad and didnt talk to me all day while she was out with her friends.
But I didnt drink.
In fact, I was a designated driver.
I missed her and couldnt stop thinking about it, BUT I didnt do anything stupid.
We talked that night and I told her I was out with the boys and was miserable.
I can tell shes not happy.
Man, I dont know what to do.
Im trying to be a better person, and I think Im making progress.
She needs to realize that I love her and that my old lifestyle is non-existent when shes around.
Maybe shes afraid Ill revert back since I went out that night?
I just needed someone around me when it felt like she abandoned me.
Expert advice needed from an expert.
Reading your advice articles leads me to seeking your awe-inspiring greatness (this is my first time).
Thanks for everything, sincerely,
Lost-n-Confused
Hey Lost-n-Confused:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
I love this Sir Patrick Allan thing youve got going here.
Anyway, enough about me, lets work this out.
Now, dont misunderstand me here.
Im not saying the label itself is that important.
Im saying that you both need to define your relationship in a way that you both feel comfortable.
What bothers each of you?
Also, its possible her perspective on this flirtationship is very different than yours.
Maybe youre a bit more into it than she is?
So what do you want?
It seems youre both well beyond fuck buddies, so talk about this stuff!
You dont get the good without the bad.
Frankly, your situation seems to be filled with far more nastiness than an official relationship.
Theres no trust, no compassion, and no understanding.
Lost-n-Confused, youaremaking progress in becoming a better person.
Its not okay for her to be drudging up the past every time you guys get in an argument.
Yes, you did those things, but youve worked hard to change.
She needs to let you be this new, better version of you.
That said, you cant fault her for being concerned when you hang around the wrong crowds.
But using your past as a weapon against youeverytimeyou two disagree is not cool at all.
Maybe theres someone else out there that will appreciate your journey a bit more.
But before you make any decisions, sit down with this girl and evaluate what you have here.
Take it seriously and throw your hat in the ring.
Its time to put up or shut up.
Quickies
Because I just dont have the time or patience for all of you… Each time we make l…. E she just the best she just humm.
Y dont see I other laddie that way,.
Lets break this one down line-by-line together.
Here we go:
I love my wife though not very beautiful but I love u.
You love your wife, but shes not very beautiful.
But you love me… Im flattered, but no thanks.
I I dont and cant image myself f….king another more beautiful lady.
You dont imagine yourself having sex with another more attractive woman while youre with your wife.
In fact, you cant.
Okay, sounds fine so far.
Each time we make l…. E she just the best she just humm.
Every time you make love, she rocks your world.
She just hums… which Im guessing is a good thing?
Unless you mean actual humming.
That could be distracting.
Maybe play some loud music while you bang?
Y dont see I other laddie that way,.
Im assuming you mean lady here, not laddy, because thats a whole different situation.
Basically, youre asking me why yourenotattracted to other women who arent your wife?
Im not seeing the problem here, PH.
Uh, I guess you love your wife and have happened upon domestic bliss.
