This week, after only two practices, my 11-year-old son quit basketball.
And still, I practically encouraged him to quit.
Three years ago, I signed my daughter up for water polo.
Although she wanted to quit many times, I wouldnt allow her to ditch the team.
Now, three years later, water polo is her life.
Why the different approaches for my kids?
These days, young children dont have a lot of down time.
Try finding a playdate on a Wednesday afternoon and you will see what I mean.
This can be a good thing.
Some kids are spending up to seven hours a day looking at screens.
Getting them out of the house and off their devices is beneficial.
Occasionally, however, things dont go as planned.
For a variety of reasons, there are times when a child wants to call it quits.
It then becomes a tricky parenting decision whether to let them opt out or to force completion.
The most typical argument against quitting is that quitting begets quitting.
Doing it once makes it all too easy to quit when life gets hard.
However, there are often very compelling reasons children should be released from a commitment.
It doesnt matter how much they want to do it or if it was their own idea.
The anxiety of a new social situation or of the requirements of the activity can be overwhelming.
This was always the case with my daughter.
The same quitting desire reared its head whenever she began any new endeavor.
Instead of dropping out, use calming techniques to help the child keep it together.
Provide support during the class as needed.
With each successful stressful situation the child conquers, strength and resiliency are bolstered for the future.
Some kids struggle with losing or not being the best or most valuable player.
Their inclination may be to pooh-pooh the league, coach or other players right before begging to drop out.
These kids need to be pushed to persevere through less than ideal circumstances.
Thats when growth happens.
The child doesnt have to sign up again for the activity but must finish out the season.
(Seriously, we are all guilty of this at times.)
And some parents push kids into activities for the sake of checking off boxes on the inevitable college program.
There is no value in demanding a child continue with piano or Taekwondo just because youve invested seven years.
Think of the opportunity cost here.
There are occasions when kids are signed up for an activity at the wrong level.
Maybe its traveling soccer or competitive diving or Triple A baseball.
Let the child level down or step out.
Occasionally, coaches are abusive, players are bullies or the program is dangerously disorganized.
This was the case before my sons recent drop out.
It was all drills, no personal connection and no enjoyment.
Sometimes being on the team causes undue stress on the child or family.
When the strain outweighs the joy, drop out.
There is one caveat for quitting.
When a player departs a squad it can negatively affect everyone left on that team.
Parents should work to minimize the impact on others whenever possible.
Parents should choose sports and classes carefully and work to prepare children to avoid the need to quit.
However, if there is a persuasive reason, dont waste anyones time.
Childhood is too short.
