In 2003, I turned in an extra credit project for my high school business law class.
It was somewhere around 40 pages long.
you’re free to guess what happened next.
This post originally appeared on theCrew blog.
He began to speak very slowly, Andrea… That was the weirdest, strangest thing Ive ever read in my life…
I mean, Ive read some pretty strange things but that… his voice trailed off.
Apparently he had never read Harry Potter and was both very confused and a little scared.
My embarrassment was complete.
Why Do Some People Turn Red?
Thats governed by the all powerful fight-or-flight response.
Our minds see embarrassment as a threat, as does our bodies.
When we do something embarrassing, these veins dilate thanks to the chemical transmitteradenylyl cyclase.
People Can Make It Worse
Youve probably come into contact with people like this.
When people tell us we are blushing we hear: Im judging you negatively.
At least this is what weassumeis happening.
It ends up being a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Onestudyexamined the effect staring had on facial flushing and what they found out seriously surprised me.
Whats the upshot of all of this?
Can You Prevent It?
Short of surgery that snips the little nerves that cause your face to turn red, no.
The blushing response is governed by our sympathetic nervous system and its not something we can control.
It happens without conscious thought or effort.
What it’s possible for you to do, however, is aim for a healthy perspective.
The embarrassment response is influenced by thenegative evaluationswe presume people will have of us if we mess up.
Therapy can help reestablish a more healthy perspective on just how little people are actually judging us.
Because embarrassment cannot be faked, it signals to our peers our true emotional state.
It shows others that we are either ashamed of or feel guilty about our conduct.
This emotional response helps indicate that we aretrustworthy.
At least, thats whatresearchersat the University of California, Berkeley found out.
They conducted five different research experiments which all resulted in the same conclusion: embarrassment is a pro-social emotion.
Researcher and psychologist Dacher Keltnershowed subjects an image of a typical embarrassed gesture and facial expression.
In fact, they wanted to associate with these people far more than the prideful people.
Feeling embarrassed and blushing is endearing and can even help usavoid confrontationwith others.
If someone turns red during a confrontation we can see that, that individual feels bad about their behavior.
This can deescalate the confrontation.
It is also a useful tool we use toincrease mutual fondnessfor one another.
Embarrassment is a powerful and necessary social tool.
We also assume embarrassment impacts us negatively both personally or professionally.
How do you rise above that overwhelming feeling that everyone is watching you?
you’re able to start by following these three steps:
1.
This will also show you that embarrassment alone does not lead to negative judgments from your peers.
Thats an important human trait and not something anyone should be ashamed of.
It places the focus on the external rather than the internal.
Remember everyone gets embarrassed and its okay that you do too.
Over the years Ive come to accept that part of myself a little bit more.
Its too busy contemplating itself in the mirror.
Image bycornflowerpower(Shutterstock).
