And why would they?
So, what should that conversation look like, and when should you have it?
We spoke with several relationship experts and therapists to find out.
How to define cheating with your partner
Cheating can mean different things to different people.
Here are a few things to consider:
What is cheating?
Before we get into the specific types, lets start with what the concept of cheating means.
There can also be situations where both physical and emotional cheating are taking place.
It could also be a case where a person loses themselves in a particular hobby, Harris notes.
Why is it important to define cheating with your partner?
Talk about your values, needs, insecurities, boundaries, etc.
and ask about theirs.
When should this conversation take place?
As a communication scholar, Lannutti advocates talking about important issues such as infidelity early and often.
Secrets, guilt, deceit, and betrayal create feelings of disconnection and resentment.
There are many models of healthy relationships that are not always built on sexual exclusivity.
What should this conversation involve?
For this reason, Blair advises coming from a place of positive not negative.
Similarly, Blair stresses that we shouldnt assume that monogamy is the default relationship format.
Monogamyeither emotional or sexualis a choice, she explains.
That is harmful myth from our sex negative culture.
Ask yourself why you feel this way.
Dont give a shot to sneak up on your partner about this topic.
Be very clear that you want to talk about expectations about exclusivity and set a time for that discussion.
Dont give a shot to be coy about it.
ensure you are open to listening as much as sharing what you think.
If you disagree, be ready to make a decision about the relationship based on that disagreement.
Again, this is an important issue and can be a deal breaker.
Give yourself and your partner the opportunity to evaluate how much value you want to place on what happened.
This may be related to the motives for cheating.
Ask yourselves, whether this is something you’re free to get past.
Keep in mind that many relationships do survive infidelity.
Consider seeking professional help as you and your partner work through the aftermath of infidelity.
This conversation should be ongoing and should foster curiosity in the other, Blair explains.
