Pretend youre divorced,he suggests.
Sexton talks about about the reasons why ona recent episode of The Upgrade.
In some ways, this can be the best of both worlds.
Sexton learned this for himself after splitting with his ex-wife.
He explains on the podcast:
I had time where my kids were not with me.
And it gave me this real time when I said, Okay, I get to be me now.
I get to be an adult.
I get to just have some me time and really just enjoy time away from my kids without guilt.
And people would say, Oh, hes got his kids this weekend.
Let him focus on that.
Why do we have to get divorced to do that?
Kids, he adds, are incredibly antagonistic to marriage.
Sexton encourages married couples to try a custodial rotation in a similar way that many divorced parents do it.
It means weaving into the structure of your marriage some set metime,youtime andwetime, Sexton says.
And then the first weekend of February, we switch.
Then you put it in the calendar, so its real.
The set-up can benefit everyone.
And it can help the kids, too, Sexton argues.
Youve had a chance to miss them.
You might feel stuck at first.
It helps tremendously when you have scheduled time to do so.
(Long, leisurely dinners alone can certainly count as a hobbythis I have confirmed.
My husband and I do something like this.
Well come together for dinner both nights and everyone will have a lot to talk about.
How was your day, mama?)
It works, and that stretch of solo time really does refuel us.
Maybe try a new arrangement for a month or two and see how it goes.
You might discover a new version of yourself, one that isnt being pelted by a toddler throwing Cheerios.
As Sexton says, I cant think of any good reason why divorced people should have all the fun.
