Its time for the old men to stop.
Here are the jokes that Redditors have heard too many times.
If youve never heard them before, a lot of them will be funny!
Thats the thing about jokes.
TokenFroKid:
Im obligated to ask those visiting my work place if they have any weapons to declare.
flex
leazypeazy2:
Selling lottery tickets.
Im like what numbers would you like?
Everyone be like the winning ones.
Bruh
purplebeeswax:
Im in ultrasound.
HAHAHA during abdominal and vascular studies.
then laugh like theyre the funniest person in the world.
Whenever I take a patients temperature: Arent you going to at least buy her dinner first?
liteultom shows that even your topical jokes are old:
Bike messenger.
Every year during the Tour De France: Youre lost buddy ?
All f*cking day long.
BigDawgWol:
Travel Money Bureau.
Har de har har.
Groovy_Chainsaw:
Mail carrier here.
you might keep the bills!
Every day of my damn life, replies ShakCentral.
it5th3m1ckster:
Stripper here.
Our version is definitely: How about I give YOU a lap dance!
Are you analyzing me now?
The true answer is almost always, I am too apathetic about you to care that much.
Pizza deliverers have it hard.
And thats the best case.
Almost every time I got an order for a public place, someone would jokingly venture to claim it.
But not just My pizza!
Lolnope who ya looking for?
Theyd go through almost the entire transaction.
Then they pile on asking if I have free samples in the car.
I no longer work with the public.
Really has anyone ever thought for one second before opening their mouth?
OK, not gonna lie, I feel like this one is actually good every time.
From d16y8sohc:
Paramedic here, I ALWAYS get the old ladies saying Oh!
Or You coming back for me later?
I responded: I wish!
…I totally deserved that.
Some dumb jokes cut across all service jobs.
Yeah, a thousand bucks!
Every IT pro, Apple Genius, and repair worker has heard Guess I get a new one!
Everyone who ever rang up a purchase has heard Guess its free!
At least that ones coming from actual children.
If this person doesnt like your joke, are they at all socially obligated to pretend they did?
If the answer to either is yes, do not make that joke!
Its not that youre not allowed to be funny.
Its wonderful to be funny!
Its not wonderful to tell a worn-out joke to someone who cant give an honest reaction.
Dont whine about it.
Get some new material.
If you hear the same joke over and over at your job, you probably have a silent retort.
A lot of redditors shared theirs.
For example, a doctor complained about patients who answer Whats wrong?
with You tell me, youre the doctor!
Krisperrr has their own answer about taming wild rice: With a very small saddle!
Quotes have been edited for clarity.
