Whether its an email, presentation, article, or research paper, keep intros concise.

After your first draft, go back and cut words (and sentences!)

that take readers away from the point.

Then, do it again.

He clarified notalladjectives, but most, should be eliminated since, They weaken when they are close together.

They give strength when they are far apart.

The girl danced excitedly, her pig-tails bouncing in the wind.

The first sentence is weighed down by needless adjectives; the second is easier to read.

Moral of the story?

Select adjectives carefully, and use them sparingly.

Choose more descriptive adjectives (uncouthinstead ofrude) or a more illustrative noun (jalopyinstead ofold car).

Its tempting to use adverbs liberally.

Take a look at the following examples:

She thought it was extremely rude.

How could Mark be so incredibly mean?

She thought it was rude.

How could Mark be so mean?

In the first example,extremelyandincrediblyadd little meaning, beyond superficially inflating the adjectives they modify.

For example:

Instead of:The door opened slowlytryThe door creaked open.

Using passive voice

The pie was made by Alice.

Alice made the pie.

There can be a temptation to use passive voice to sound fancier or more literary.

Resist, unless there is no other way to write the sentence.

Also, passive voice can sound evasive, like a shirking of responsibility.

Consider the following example:A scheduling mistake has occurred, and efforts were made to fix it.

(Well, who made the mistake?

Who is taking care of it?)

Whenever possible, swap prepositional phrases for words that pack a more descriptive punch.

Example:Tony thinks that the Red Sox will go to the World Series.

Tony thinks the Red Sox will go to the World Series.

This error happens when two independent clauses are connected with a comma rather than a conjunction or semicolon.

For example:Becky loves Coldplay, she went to their concert.

Both clauses above could exist on their own, and should be connected with a conjunction or a semicolon.

(Or separated by a period.)

Becky loves Coldplay, so she went to their concert.

She went to their concert.

Becky loves Coldplay; she went to their concert.

How weird would it have been if this article had ended with Beckys Coldplay drama?